a flight to freedom

There is so much to motivate me, so so much, but I’m still nowhere near the stage I should be in. I want to achieve all those things I said I will. I need to achieve them. It’s the only way out for me and these exams are the key for that. I’ve got a good foothold but there’s something that’s just stopping me from jumping over that fence. And I think I finally figured out what it is.
It’s pathetic to even think that even after everything…it’s you man. All this time I’ve been wondering why I just can’t seem to put my head down and study and the reason was the absolute certainty that, I won’t see you again after exams. This time is all I have left to think of how it feels to your face.

I’ve thought a lot about this and I’ve thought hard. I can’t be your friend. And I can’t be friends with your friends. You guys aren’t really good for me. I’ve hung out with people very similar to you before and they weren’t good for me either. But this time I’m different. I’m stronger and far more capable of making my own decisions than before. So, I choose to end my time with you. I think it’s the best for both of us, but to be honest I don’t really care. I know it’s best for me and right now that is all that matters. I wish it didn’t have to end on such a note.

I know I will always regret this decision. But I also know that I will regret it more if I don’t make this decision.

I know I won’t achieve this thing in one day and I’ll probably fall short every now and then as well. But as long as I meet my goals at the end of this path, the smiles on my most treasured faces will all be worth it. I’ll be one step closer to stepping on that plane and flying to my dreams becoming a reality. A reality that now seems so far.

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